Quote:
Originally Posted by ToeJam
They say that you should maintain family ties no matter what(or at least that is the socially accepted norm) but how difficult or hard would it be to just cut ties?
For me it's been the only option I had to keep somewhat sane and stable and as such I developed a hardened exterior to certain parts of my family... Cut most out of my life completely.
You have your own life to lead after all and no one can do for you but you. From what I've read of the above you are being held back and emotionally manipulated by others who are close and can hurt you... Not pleasant at all.
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I realized there is a certain amount of comfort in my procrastination of moving away, of fear of failure, of not choosing in the past to stay put in spite of the crap, and to listen to the pressures to do what society says you 'should' do.
I realized after I finished reading Dr.Lauras' book, "Bad Childhood-Good Life" that it is, evidently, common under the guise of well meaning religious leaders to "forgive" others' prematurely...those who were never repentant, or even willing to accept the role they played in harming, this is my mom, I realized it was just another whitewash that fit into her schemes perfectly.
Never again. I withdraw my forgiveness and hold her accountable, and the rest of them...they may never know it, but, maybe me living my life seperatly, under my terms: without people that have harmed me and proven themselves completely untrustworthy in my life...well, then maybe she'll get the hint...
I won't harbor negative feelings though, I'm just going to let them go. And I'm not going to get enmeshed in their sick thinking again.
I don't have to and I don't want to.
Thanks for your affirmation of that.