Your feelings and your fears are normal for what you have been through. You are not alone in what you are going through -- many of us have experiences just like yours. Flashbacks are terrible experiences, but you can work to overcome them. For me, it really helped to draw them, especially with crayons on construction paper, and then run my hands over them. Things like this can take the power out of the images and feelings, and make them feel less real in the present. With things like this, you can work to put the past in the past, and embrace hope for your future.

Focus too on relationships that are healthy -- good friends who respect you or counselors you come to trust. Stay away from those who don't respect you or respect your physical boundaries. The more healthy relationships you develop, the less power the past will have over you.

A few more bits of advice: Be patient with yourself, it takes time to heal. Remember the breath deep when you're feeling scared -- holding your breath keeps the fear and tension inside. And try keeping two journals: one for the bad stuff that you need to express and sort out. The other for only good stuff, no matter how small, that you experience each day -- you deserve to focus on what is good in your life just as much as what is hurting you.

Be careful, strive to be happy.

mtd