Hey, I saw your post. I am sooo very sorry you are suffering or had to at all. I think abusing children is...well, there are really no words to say, I think anyone on these forums can vouch for the result themselves. I can only say I honor your survival and your willingness to fight and believe in yourself, because you have to if you are going to make it. And, yes, you can make it! I can tell you though that yes, it does get better, believe me I'm still here, and it's been a long, strange road I've gone down, but I can say if you stick with it, the therapy, the meds, for however long they are necessary, and sometimes they really are, etc. you can manage.

I am going through one of the worst times of my life, but I've got about 26 years of therapy behind me, good therapy too, yes, it was the kind that rips out your soul and replaces it with a new one, or at least it seems to, but it worked and I am dealing with my life these days med free and therapy free,, (that's not my choice, money is an issue.) I've found ways to give myself solace, look for them in yourself, they will help bolster yourself when times get hard.

Also, from a long road of experience BE GOOD TO YOURSELF! You really deserve it, perhaps moreso than other folks who didn't go through what you did or others like you. These forum sites are good, they help, for me I stay balanced and realize from reading other people's posts I am not alone in the world. There are other people who are they with you, we are an army of like minded souls and we have a right to be free and happy in our lives. Peace to you.