To say I am sorry for your pain right now seems so small, but I really do understand. I have severe panic attacks to and understand how they can freeze us almost in oblivion. It takes time to recover, I always remember my favorite therapist said when things are really tough to take baby steps. I take micro-mini baby steps. If that's all you can do at least you are doing something. I have a fear of falling, because of having problems with one leg, so I really understand that fear of being helpless. Take care of yourself. I hope each day gets easier for you.