i think attachment is meant to take time... can't remember when it emerges... i think it is the time when kids start having the 'stranger danger' thing. is that around one year of age? something like that. Schore (sorry to go on) thinks that there are these moments of attunement... and that forms the basis for the kind of attachment that develops (secure, avoidant and so on). he also thinks that abandonment doesn't have to be physical going away. one can be physically present but still abandoning because the absense of emotional attunement can be experienced as an abandoning.

i'm sorry things are hard for you right now. when my t went away i was feeling kinda lonly and vulnerable and afraid too. i don't have much object constancy...

can you remember her smile and her voice and stuff like that? can you remember it in a soothing way? sometimes that can help. to have imaginary conversations with your t. transitional object is a cool idea. really cool. i have t's email address :-) not that i'd ever use it. but the point is it is handwriting. that means a lot to me for some reason. one t made me a relaxation tape once. and she used to let me tape sessions. listening to them really helped. sometimes... other times not... just seems to make it hurt worse.

sorry... i don't know what to say

(((mouse)))