Before therapy and medication I thought the same way you do. What's the point? Should I even be living? No joy. Expressionless. I still have a flat affect and I hate it. I wish I could be more interested in other people and life. But it's getting better. That is one thing I'm thankful for. There are good days and bad days but at least they aren't all bad days like the past 50 years without medication. I hope you're on medication and working with a therapist, a good one. I went through 4 to find one that really is good for me. Good luck.

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