#10 Life is sexually transmitted.

#9 Good health is merely the slowest rate at which one can die

#8 Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an
erection, make him a sandwich.

#7 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to
use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

#6 Some people are like a slinky... not really good for anything, but
you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

#5 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital
dying of nothing

#4 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no
attention to criticism.

#3 Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred pounds, and a
substantial tax cut saves you thirty pence???

#2 In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world
is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

AND THE NUMBER ONE THOUGHT FOR 2007.

We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the
millions and millions of cows in the UK, but we haven't a clue as to
where thousands of Illegal immigrants and Terrorists are located. Maybe
we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.