I can understand how you are feeling, I've felt it regularly...feel it somewhat now. Life can feel like it sucks soo much that the only reasonable thought for a second is to end it. You get soo tired and want the fatigue and struggle to be over. I get these thoughts.

I understand what it feels like to feel completely hopeless.

But I also know this Johnny...we are in control of our own destiny. No matter what, it is up to each of us to decide how we choose to act, how we are in the world, how we respond to the world and the decisions we make. Sometimes we need help with doing those things in healthy ways for ourselves, and for me that is with therapy, but even that is my choice!

You asked in another thread if you can choose to be happy, to me this seems like a similar theme. You can choose the path towards happiness and you can choose the path to living your life, not just existing. But you have to choose it, and sometimes keep bloody choosing it every single day...over and over and over until it becomes the life you want and deserve.

Yeah, its not easy. I think all of us here know how soo NOT easy this is.....some days I want to curse and swear and tell the world and the universe and anyone that will listen to just eff off and give me a break. Or run and hide from everyone. But deep inside I know I want better.......and maybe one day I will believe I deserve better. But I can tell you this......you Johnny, and everyone else definately do deserve to live a fulfilling life of your choosing.

"If you are going through hell, keep going".... Winston Churchill