Personally, I can only speak from my experience, but the "emotional debt" is based on how much each person of a relationship is willing to give. We can't control the other person and shouldn't even try, we can only look at ourselves and say, "This is what I'm willing to invest in this relationship."

Let's take some examples from my life.

My work relationships I'm only willing to invest a small amount of my energy into. There's no return that I value so I don't really worry too much about how others are feeling and what I can do for them while I'm at work.

When I coach youth sports, I invest a TON more of my emotional energy. They kids give it back seven-fold and it's a great time.

With my wife, I put it all on the table and don't really expect much back. That relationship is really, really important to me so I'm willing to invest a boatload of my emotional energy into it for limited return. My marriage, as stated by my wife, is about a 90/10 split with me doing 90% of the emotional support and her giving me the occasional pat on the back.

So it's not up to you. You can only invest what you are willing to lose and it's the same for the others.