Well I went to that place and I had to speak to a psychiatric nurse. She asked me why I'm here, about my past, why I SI, what do I get from SI, one word to describe how I feel and what I wanted to get from her. Then she got me to fill out this form but told me not to think too hard on the questions, just circle the first answer that comes to mind. Then she scored my test and told me I have severe depression and moderate anxiety. She then told me I'd benefit from cognitive behavioral therapy and counseling. But I could only do them one at a time so when I finish one completely I'd go onto another. So, I'm going to the cognitive behavioral therapy first. But she said it works so well that there's a waiting list, so it could be a couple of months before I start.

Then my grandma phoned up and asked how it went (she doesn't know about me cutting) when I was at home eating my lunch and I told her and she told me she's always there for me before kindly asking if I'd go shopping for her. When I was on my way back to my grandparents house with shopping bags in my hands my dad phoned up asking what they'd said. His only remark was. "what have you got to be depressed about?" When I came back to my grandparents, my grandma said that I mean the world to her and my grandad and that she's always here for me. Then I told her what my dad had said. And my grandma's reply was. "Well, it's how people treat you. Don't worry I'll sort him out." She slipped a £5 note my way and told me to put it away. Then asked my grandad to give me lunch money for college and he slipped me another £5 note. She then said that she may shout at me but her bark is worse than her bite and I mean the world to her.

So at least my grandparents understand depression. I just don't have the heart to tell them the full story. It would break their hearts. They care so much about me.