Dear freewill,

Your pain does mean something. It apparently is causing you extreme anguish. If it had no meaning, you wouldn't be seeking a way to become numb. Numbing oneself can offer relief for a time but it doesn't last. I've heard it said one has to work through the pain to get to the other side. Not an easy process to undertake.

I believe my soul is separate from my physical body and mind. Abuse can hurt the body and invade our minds with pain, but I think my soul is what has remained intact and empowered me to seek help and continue with my recovery.

I sincerely hope you will find some peace of spirit and, hopefully, sooner than later.

Calm