Hello everyone. I truly apologize for my first post being a request from you all. But maybe you have experience with this and can offer some advice or reassurance?

I've recently been losing my memory. It's gotten severe over the past months, to the point I forget what I'm doing in the middle of doing it. Sometimes I forget my name. It's so incredibly frustrating.

Just recently, I've been confusing fantasy with reality. Like, if I watch a tv show, I will forget that it isn't real and reference it when I speak. Then the person I'm speaking to is totally confused, and then I realize "oh wait, that was on tv, it didn't happen". I've begun avoiding television, books, radio, anything that can confuse me. Sometimes I wake up and think a bad dream I had was real, and I have to ask someone in the house if such-and-such really happened or I only imagined it.

Many of my biological aunts, uncles and cousins have either bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, or both. I don't know if this is related to me at all, but I've always been terrified of ending up like them... some are like zombies now who don't even recognize me anymore.

Before anyone suggest seeing a psych, I can't afford that at all. I can barely afford household expenses. The public healthcare system here in my state (usa) only offers a free psych if you agree to be medicated, which I don't want. I tried it in the past, but the doctor only spoke to me for 5 minutes and then prescribed anti-depressants, he didn't even want to hear my medical history, test me for anything or ask me what was wrong with me. He was no help whatsoever. Which is why I am asking here.

I thank you very much for any advice you can give to me. My biggest fear is to lose my mind, and I value my intelligence very much.