Hi Everyone,
After years of thinking I have bipolar disorder (due to previous diagnosis), I've recently started work with a new pdoc who swears I am 100% NOT bipolar. I think the issues I'm dealing with are at least similar to those of BPD, however when I asked the doc if I have BPD he said he wouldn't tell me what he thinks - just that I shouldn't be caught up on labels, and that no matter what we call my problem, it's MY job to fix it.
Here's my most distressing problem:
I've been going through a severe depression with crippling anxiety for at least three months. I have a boyfriend of 10 months, who I was head over heels for until I started feeling depressed. I really felt sure that he was the one for me, for very valid reasons based on how well he treats me, how much fun we were having together, our openness and honesty, common values, and unbelievable physical chemistry. Since feeling depressed, I have not been able to feel the same way about my boyfriend. I do not feel "in love," I find him irritating when before he made me laugh, it's difficult for me to want to have sex, and many nights I would rather be alone then next to him. He has expressed a commitment to see our relationship through my dark time, and I desperately want to feel the way I used to feel.
Can anyone relate to this? Is this "splitting"? Are my feelings gone for good?
I feel SO lost...and the last thing I want to do is hurt my boyfriend more than the depression already has...
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