Hi,
I know that doesn't sound so great, but atleast there is hope!! Don't give up on yourself. You are on this site for a reason, and possibly support. Have faith and patience. Even if it's slow going, try to find something good to look forward to. I believe that you have a purpose on this earth. Everything in life is not meant to be happy and joyful. Winter can be extremely depressing. It is for me, and i try to 'hibernate' and look forward to the new life at Springtime.
Keeping good thoughts for you UM!
Sandy