I don't have a caretaker, and if I get married, my husband will certainly not be one as I'm not interested in having one at all. If my bipolar or borderline needs attention, there's therapy, coping mechanisms or meds for that.

My bf, while willing and able to provide emotional support, whether it be a sounding board, extra cuddling or extra space, he is not my therapist. So while my behaviours and thought patterns affect him at times, my goal is to try and keep dealing with my baggage as separate from him as possible. Neither him nor I would want him labelled as my caretaker.

Where chores and parenting are concerned I believe its a team effort. So shared responsibility doesn't translate to caretaking in my book. Sometimes one team member picks up the slack when the other is not well, and vice versa. If he's unwell is bronchitus and mine is depression, well then so be it.

I work, part time at the moment, needed a break from full time as it was just too stressful and overwhelming. Problem with taking a break from the rat race:

I'm still a rat.

Will be going back to full time in March. Idk much about high functioning, pdocs apparantly think I am, and I alternate between resenting that label to being proud of it, depending on mood.

So in answer to your question Kris, no they don't have to be our caretakers, but in some relationships that's the role they choose to play.