I hear your frustration with public health.

I'm in South Africa and its the same over here, I'm not interested on going back to meds, but the pdoc I'm meeting on Wednesday doesn't need to know that. I will make him think I'm taking his pills for as long and I get to go to therapy, because dammit I need it and deserve it and if I have to pretend to be medicated to get it, then so be it!

I suggest being very honest with your gp and getting in to see a neurologist. Once they rule out any physical problems they can then direct you to the right path.

I'm really sorry, sounds like a rough experience