I am impressed with Doc. for allowing this last post, and for addressing it with further clarification; especially since it comes across, to me, as a threat to harm yourself and blame others for this. It will cause others to worry about you, and I hope you have stayed to read the responses as they are all meant to be supportive in a positive way. Feeling hurt at being thwarted is understandable, but this site makes guidelines that are supportive, and protective of the whole community, they are also posted in such a way as to make us aware of the rules in advance of posting. I find the guidelines helpful; when I have had an urge to post something that would not be acceptable, it makes me think about why I want to do this...and what purpose it would really serve...generally not a very good one...