</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Or they refuse to see the truth!

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

yeah, but Sept... how is that empathetic? If someone PUSHED and PUSHED their version of the "truth" on me after I had made myself vulnerable, I'd be scared to post too. (the angry banging head doesn't help, either)

The goal here is to become comfortable with opening up and asking for help, right?

I think the first step is to look within ourselves to see if others would feel safe based on OUR replies. Are we posting with frustration against other members?

One valuable lesson that SeptMorn taught me (and this is a good one that I carry with me in all aspects of my life) is that while someone is intellectually capable of understanding "the truth", they just might not be emotionally ready to absorb it all at once. If they are upset, overwhelmed, confused... supporting them with empathy, compassion, and patience is going to go a lot further than making sure that they have every aspect of the truth pushed at them all in one day. Tomi, you've said to me a few times "ok, LMo - thanks for your help, but I've had enough for one day. Let me absorb this and I'll get back to you". WOW! I always am so impressed by your ability to do that - it is such an awesome way to let the other person know that you understand that they may have a good POV, but that you're feeling bombarded. And it's an especially good message for ME because I'm also the type who will push push push my point without trying to sense whether the other person has had enough for one day. So Tomi, thank you.

I think I got off-topic a little... oops

I don't want this to turn into a thread where accusations fly and feelings get hurt. So can I suggest a modified question:

"What can we do to make other people feel more safe to post?"

I like Time0's statement from her 2nd post in this thread:

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
]This is why I think we should all be kind to each other, give our understanding and most of all respect each other. Nobody really knows what someody else has gone through or is going through.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">