I have a version of selective mutism, but mine was directly caused by my mom. I was told when I was 8 years old to "never let anyone know your personal problems" and I was never told "I love you". As a result, saying words of affection causes me extreme amounts of stress and it's almost impossible to talk about anything that is really important or bothering me. I almost get a type of amnesia. I'll tell myself "I'm going to say it this time" and then when the time comes, I'll totally forget and remember as soon as I'm no longer in that situation. This causes me gigantic amounts of stress, anxiety, and self-hatred. I was also told there was nothing wrong with me by my family and it continued with my husband; I didn't have any therapy or help at all until I was in my 40's though I've had issues my entire life. I've compensated by learning about how I work as much as possible and my "issues". While it doesn't stop my mind, actions, or behavior a lot of the time, it does make me understand myself, and hopefully that's the first step in being able to help myself for real. I get it....