Thanks for the article Sometimes!

Didgee, I could have written most of what you wrote as I feel very similar

I'm worried about 'falling through the cracks' as I have no appts with anyone from the CMHT. It worries me because I'm scared about what will happen to me on my own with no 'professional' support. Yet the writer said that was good for her... Taking disability benefits does come with unwelcome strings attached as it ties you into the MH system. I wish I could win the lottery or something to remove this feeling of helplessness I feel about my finances and my future. Then I wouldn't have to worry about being 'ill enough' according to the 'professionals' to stay on benefits, and I wouldn't have to stress about finding work which currently feels beyond me. It would give me the space to figure out what I want. I think that's the key to recovery. I'm not saying that I *want* to have sza, but being diagnosis-less feels like a personal attack on my core, like I'm fundamentally defective, rather than a regular person who happens to have a medical condition. Feeling like I'm fundamentally defective in important aspects of who I am just feels monumentally awful. Who am I to have dreams or hopes or ambitions?! I have nothing to 'recover' from as this is me, forever broken. And so what is the point in getting out of bed??? I truly have no idea anymore.

*Willow*