I'm not saying that I *want* to have sza, but being diagnosis-less feels like a personal attack on my core, like I'm fundamentally defective, rather than a regular person who happens to have a medical condition. Feeling like I'm fundamentally defective in important aspects of who I am just feels monumentally awful. Who am I to have dreams or hopes or ambitions?! I have nothing to 'recover' from as this is me, forever broken. And so what is the point in getting out of bed??? I truly have no idea anymore.

*Willow*