I don't like myself very much right now /: maybe I can learn from this....so I emailed my T for the first time ever just now. I don't even know his email policy. I made it very brief but still....I told him that I do need his help, which is a big deal for me since one of my major issues is feeling too needy and keeping just about everyone out of my life. I said I was sorry for my being so back and forth about therapy and that I don't want to stop now. That was basically it.

I hope that was the right decision. I just feel like I'm running away out of fear or something and I really can't afford to do that. My family can't afford me to give up either.

I worry about being a needy client so much that this is really the first time I reached out to my T. Ever. And it's a been year.

I think I need to make a boundary for myself: no more back and forth with T on this whole subject. When it's time to end, I will just end it appropriately.