As I continue to think about HOW someone could change their style if they wish to... what would be required for this to happen?

One thing I think... is to be sure that they are HEARING what is really being said. Usually, in communicating, if we are unsure, or if we know we have a problem understanding or assuming, we repeat back what the person is saying.

Maybe more of this could happen here at PC, and perhaps we could all try harder. I know I will...but I'm also concerned that by rephrasing and asking if that's what they meant, it might be taken as an affront... so it won't be easy... will it?