Sorry that you have gone through this for such a long time!!

When I was 4, I started to develop selective mutism (then called "elective mutism"). I now attribute it to an abusive daycare situation--I just lost trust in adults and was fearful of them. I spoke to my parents and some family members.

By kindergarten/1rst grade it became severe. I was ok talking to kids, teens and my grandparents but soon I only talked to my mom and dad. They did not understand it and were always mad at me which made it worse.

At one point, a teacher was concerned if I could read or not so dragged my parents and I into a conference in which I had to read aloud from a book. I was shaking I was so scared but did it. My parents were so relieved that we all went out to dinner--which made me feel even more self conscious and horrible.

It went on like this. They finally sent me to a child psychologist who spent a lot of time with me in only 1 or 2 appts. and was very kind. I didn't talk at first but finally felt safe enough to open up and responded to him. He was so sweet and encouraging but told my parents horrible advice--that I was fine and nothing was wrong with me!! So that was the end of counseling for a long time.

In 2nd grade we moved to a new town and I started a new school. No one knew my problem so it became easier to talk to other kids. I still had a hard time talking to teachers until 5th or 6th grade. I can't remember when it stopped completely.

In therapy years later, T told me that selective mutism is related to social phobia and is a form of an anxiety disorder. Which makes sense, because it is something I still struggle with.

Feel free to PM me if there is anything you want to talk about!!! I hope you find therapy useful.