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The problem is that my entire self worth is wrapped up in music
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As a result of how you were raised. Remember that things can change; healing can occur.
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....when I take the horn away, I'm scared that there is nothing there.
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What you have been saying about your playing skills and marketing and getting an ensemble together has been really impressive. I think that in some ways you are like a vault: talents that were stored away in self-defense are gradually seeing the light of day and becoming accessible.