I have had chronic depersonalization/derealization since early 2009. the depersonalization has remained in tact that entire time, the derealization comes in bouts.

when it happens to me, I am disconnected from the outside world and its like I am just looking at it and examining it. like if I were watching tv... I'm seeing it all... but I'm not experiencing it... because I'm not actually a part of it. and so my mind tries to make sense of things through shapes, patterns, colors... which is actually really annoying because it feels like I'm obsessing over a certain color or shape and drawing symbols from everything and everywhere but really its just my heads way of trying to stay grounded when it's completely disconnected from the outside world.

it's really freaking weird.