I can relate to your post.

I tell the doc/nurse that I'm not comfortable and a nurse usually holds my hand. I saw my GP that prescribed me diazepam which I take half an hour before an appointment. I try to control my breathing and think "in 30 mins I would have survived this and can buy myself something nice" when having a Pap smear, I ask for the smallest spectrum. Being relaxed can definitely make it much better. I ask for a female to.

Take care xx