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PrairieCat · 11:22 AM

Hi Everybody!

I am PrairieCat in NM, an older female, not 'diagnosed' until I was 55 years old. I joined this website on 11-1-13. If I have BD, it is mild BD II. I have recently asked my new pdoc for an official diagnosis as I feel I never had one, was just in huge depression and tried Lithium, which I am now allergic to. I am now only on two meds, just started Cymbalta Anti-D, 30 mg/day (am stopping Lexapro 20 mg per day) and Alprazolam/Xanax for sleep, 1 mg, also .5 mg for anxiety occasionally, not frequent, though. I am ultra-super-sensitive to all meds, so sometimes just a tiny bit helps but sometimes more helps. We are all so similar but also have our individual differences.

I have been on almost every single PM there is and the mood stabilizers have almost killed me, so I'm not ever going back on one unless it is to save my life. At one time I feel I was overmedicated, taking five meds at a time with no positive results, three of them mood stabilizers. I have also had ECT when I was depressed in my 20's and I've had TMS treatment within the past two years. ECT sucked and TMS was miraculous, did not get rid of my depression, but woke up my brain in a wonderful way, also cured my Fibromyalgia! Now I am just left with Scleroderma/Raynaud's Disease. Whoa, it's always something!

I also have a new fantastic therapist who is, for the first time, letting me talk about my childhood, mother, upbringing. That's when and where my troubles started, of course. Past therapists have not allowed that! I guess it depends on what methods they are trained in. I may go broke paying for this therapy, but I hope not. New T is checking into whether I am being billed properly, thank goodness.

I am right now happy and feeling better each day. Since joining this website, I have learned so much! You are all so wonderful, also funny and lovely people, lovable, too. Everyone is lovable, even if they don't think that today. Thank you for being there for me.

Love to All,
PrairieCat