Krisakira, I went through exactly the same thing! I am divorced now, but when I was married, and especially when I was in my 30s, my hormones cried out very loud to be intimate with him. Your story could be mine. It did not happen unless he wanted it to. The longest we went without it was a whole year. I cried myself to sleep many nights. Finally, I left. I was weary of always being last on his list. (Things are better now. Self-care is my theme.)