"Once when my pdoc was referencing my past csa he said "if I haul off and slap you across the face and it hurts you right now, that is my fault for hurting you. If that slap in the face still hurts 20 years from now, that is your fault and is on you."

You know? That's harsh. It's harsh and it's pointed, but ultimately? He's right. This is why we do therapy. We have a tendency to hold onto hurt, which really just means we're hurting ourselves.