I've been going through with this determination on staying as far away from my family as possible and I had to make some compromises but it's working out pretty well.
I don't see them face to face but allow myself to talk with them over the phone-unless they really upset me on the phone-then I cut the phone tie also.
Initially, it was really hard for me to do this. I felt isolated without having seen my families faces-you know, people whom I REALLY know. So, that was kinda scary.
But now, I'm doing pretty good. I feel guilt about Mom though because she's old and she's got a lot of health problems but I do talk to her on the phone a lot-well, almost once a week.
The strange thing is I really feel like I could live the rest of my life with never seeing them again.
I'm really confused about my Mom though. It's not easy disowning your old and sick Mother. It feels mean and cruel but I have to for my own sanity.
I asked my Mom on the phone.."Mom, why did you hate me so much when I was a teenager?"
And to that she replied "I was going through a lot then, I just got remarried, we moved, I had an operation..."
And I couldn't believe she sat there and complained to me about how hard her life was and she needed to take it out on me...she did'nt explain why me but I changed the subject 'cause I knew if I got into it-I'd start yelling and screaming and hanging up on her. She's old, she's had a heart operation, she's sick in other ways too, so I just didn't fight with her about it but it REALLY made me mad.

I can't bring myself to totally cut her off. She my MOM!
I don't like her but I do love her and it's confusing me. I'm trying to forgive her and my family. I'm working on it really hard and trying to understand but even when I do forgive her-I still don't think I'll want to see her. Her 70th birthday is coming up and she's having this family shingding-she wants all the kids to be there-I DON'T WANT TO BE THERE!!!!!!! I'm not going.

And also, she's going to take a bus to Philly, in March, to see the flower show with her FAVORITE daughter-whom she's even now closer to because since favorite daughter's accident, they have so much MORE in common since they both move slowly and are physically ailling. Yippeeee!!! Break out the party crew-they've gotten even closer!!! Favorite daughter is meaner than ever too-oh my Lord! I returned a phonecall to her because I felt bad that she was in an accident and she almost died and everything-you know how that goes..
Anyway, she gets on the phone and bad mouths every body under the sun in a more mean spirited way than what she use to before the accident. I mean she really ripped into EVERYBODY and it was very nasty. I understand she's bitter about the accident but why are you taking it out on people who are doing chores for you, running errands,cleaning your house, cooking you meals and being kind to you? And they weren't the only ones she skinned. I cannot talk to her anymore. I cannot for the life of me figure out why the hell SHE'S gotta be Mom's favorite daughter. I dont' have to be the favorite but couldn't she have picked someone who's a little kinder and loving? You know, a GOOD person. Is she really that guilable?
Anyway, I got sidetracked-Mom's coming to Philly to see the flower show with favorite daughter. I live in Philly-I'm supposed to go meet them. NOOOOOOOOOOO, I'm not! I said yes but I meant NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I feel obligated to go but I don't want to see her with her favorite daughter...NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Okay, I'm going to read my forgiveness book since I'm starting to grind my teeth. I'm still not going to either event but I don't have to be angry with my mother and feel this upset about her.