Very sorry for your situation. I can only imagine what it would be like not to have support from family when feelings of depression or helplessness strike. Because I agree with you about talking it out face to face, I urge to try and find a support group. Maybe look through a newspaper or community bulletin board, see what you can find. You could even "compare notes" with your cousin as it sounds like he's also going through a rough patch, that way you can support each other. Then there's always God. He's always there and is happy to listen to problems and might even soothe your spirit and ease your emotions. It's worth a try, isn't it? Take care and I hope things improve for you.