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Originally Posted by Lycanthrope
Yes, I was annoyed with her the session before. She seemed rather cold and distracted which annoyed me. Which made the decision even easier for me.
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Did you know that annoyance is a form of anger? Since you correlated these two concepts, is it possible that this could have been an unconscious way to communicate a message to her?
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In that moment, buying something was more important to me then the T. But then you have to consider, the T's family and friends are far more important to her then I am. I don't take that personally, nor am I hurt because that's something I've always known and it doesn't bother me.
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Although you do not, many people in therapy
do feel hurt by this. It isn't personal if one thinks about it rationally, so I get why you say that, but feelings are not rational. I could be totally off, but maybe this is gnawing at your consciousness, wanting to be released. Since your T still reacted to your action with acceptance rather than anger, might that be influencing your decision to explore the event here?
This might not apply to your situation, but feelings that are disavowed find a way to be expressed, sometimes in ways that are initially obscure.