Quote:
Originally Posted by Secretum
I do, however, often feel like the universe has engineered itself so as to cause me maximum pain, that I will fail at everything I attempt, that God is out to get me and the worst possible outcome to every situation will occur.
Is this paranoia, or just garden-variety pessimism?
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Look out for those lightning bolts sweetie... the universe is totally out to get us!:
Seriously though, I've often thought like you are. I think it's a garden variety mix of delusions, paranoia, and pessimism. When I'm sick, sometimes I'll have delusions that bad things will happen to me on rainy days and good things on sunny days. Sometimes I'll go as far as turning off my phone and communications devices, and not going outside as a way to prevent bad things from happening to me. It's totally f**ked up, because I know, even when I'm sick, that this is delusional thinking. However, despite knowing that my thoughts are delusional, I can't change my thought process, and on some days my whole day is occupied with me trying to remind myself that I'm being delusional.