I am so sorry that you are feeling so scared right now. Medical problems can be hard to deal with and anxiety can only make it worse. Go easy on yourself. It sounds like you could really use a break. I know it sounds impossible, but try to relax and focus on feeling better.

My doctor prescribed Lexapro for me but I never took it because pills make me very nervous. But I think that it is definetly worth a try. I am always wondering what it would be like if I took the meds. It can't hurt for you to try.
Take care of yourself and remember that it WILL get better. Kate