Dear Mulan, I am so terribly sorry to hear of your story, that is truly one of the saddest lives I've ever heard of. I really hope you find someone who loves you one day. Everyone deserves love. You know, happy people always think it's something they've done to bring about happiness in their lives and then tell you to do likewise, but they are simply lucky to be born and raised normal. From the time I could remember, my childhood was abnormal, and it has affected me no end, I now sit with depression and have absolutely no friends. I also have no more life, and I love nothing.