Hi ruda121,

I'm new here, so I'm not sure how I got the name "curious george" ... anyway ... I completely agree with what "Favorite Jeans" says here ... see my note after this ...

[QUOTE=Favorite Jeans;3526077]Even if she's "right" and your past really actually has a lot of bearing on what you're currently experiencing, the fact that other issues feel more pressing to you right now should take precedence. If the past is truly that important to what's going on, there will be no escaping that fact (if you keep going to therapy.) She should have the patience and perspective to know that and not push her agenda. You get to decide what you'd like to focus on.[QUOTE=Favorite Jeans;3526077]

My short answer for you, ruda121, is FOLLOW YOUR INTUITION!!! Yes, following YOUR GUT / YOUR INSTINCTS will bring you the best result!

Although it is fine for the new T to learn about your past, because sometimes there are answers there that we don't think about, it is still up to YOU as to what you focus on in therapy!

How do I know this? I have seen at least 11 Ts over the past years, and only have had 3 that seemed to be there for MY interests. I've mostly seen them for less than 1 year each, sometimes for only 2 visits. There have been BIG gaps of time between them, because I've gotten discouraged in this whole idea of therapy, due to feeling that they weren't there to assist me & instead they were just doing their time, so they can get a paycheck.

I usually seek one out when I've felt I couldn't work something out on my own for months & months, or years, and then I will finally say, "ok, it's time to get some input". Fortunately for me, I FINALLY FOUND A GOOD ONE!!! Since I did have 2 that seemed good previously, I didn't truly know how mediocre the additional 8 were until I met my current one!

I started with a new therapist about a year ago. My HMO insurance is set up that I can only see her about every 4 to 8 weeks unfortunately. During the past 2 months, I she offered for me to attend a group therapy situation, so that has made it more frequent.

My T is wonderful! She is focused, hears me, and catches every little thing I say. She makes sure that she pays attention to almost EVERY little word I say, because she knows if I say it, it must have taken up residence in my head, and gives me a good way to change how I think about it.

It wasn't until NOW, a whole year after meeting her, that I asked her,
Me: "What's supposed to happen with this therapy thing?"
T: (very empathetic) "This is a time for you to be totally focused on YOU! YOU can be 100% absorbed & talk about ANYTHING YOU want to talk about!" Then she said something like: Her job is to listen, and offer her skills to assist me in working through whatever is going on with me!

Me: "I come in here and sometimes talk about a variety of things, and don't know if I ought to organize my thoughts, or just focus on talking about only one or two things?"
T: "I find that it usually helps most to talk about whatever is the heaviest on your mind."

Me: "So how is it supposed to work, and what am I supposed to do in order to get somewhere ... accomplish something?"
T: "It's like you have a bucket full of stuff & you can dump it all out in front of us. This gives you the opportunity to look at things, all at once, or one at a time. You can choose to keep -or- throw out -or- work on whatever YOU choose. YOU decide which things you want to put back into the bucket and keep, whether you work on that item or not."
Me: "Wow! That makes so much sense! THAT'S GREAT!!! No one has ever explained it to me! That's a really good visual!"
T: "Good!"
Me: "Yay! Now I get it!"

T: "I apologize that I didn't tell you this on your 1st visit. If someone has been to a therapist previously, I sometimes forget to explain this to them, and just focus their 1st appt. on their reason for seeking therapy. None of the other therapists answered this for you?"
Me: "No."
T: "I'm sorry I, and the others didn't explain this sooner. It's good that you asked!"

Like you, I thought I had already dealt with my past fully, and am finding out that I may not have gone as deep as I thought, and so it is affecting me again NOW. My T is working with me on many things BOTH past AND PRESENT!

I would understand if you want to see this new T one or two more times just to be sure it's a good fit or not. Be sure that it IS a good fit FOR YOU, IF you decide to stay with the new T!

I would say, that YOU need to keep YOUR BEST INTEREST in front of you, so YOU can CHOOSE what's BEST for YOU!!! As you go forward PLEASE KNOW that you do NOT have to settle for just mediocre therapy! I understand that it might be tiresome to look for another NEW T, yet it will be worth it, BECAUSE YOU ARE WORTH IT & SO IS YOUR HEALTH & HAPPINESS!!!

Keep in touch!

PS ~ This is my 1st post, so I'm not sure of the protocol in length of a post. I felt I needed to be thorough in sharing with you, because I want THEE BEST FOR YOU!!!