(((Jane))),

Can you take some time to listen to this? It's different but it's good to listen to. I am very sorry you are struggling, but you really do deserve to "heal" and understand "your needs more clearly" too. You are fighting "your needs unknowingly Jane" you need to step back and think about it better and I know this is hard to do. Perhaps this link will give you some more to consider and understand, because you need to figure out what "you need" instead of what you may think "others may need you to be or what you need to be to impress others somehow" and what is "really not your fault at all either".

Gábor Máté MD: Attachment = Wholeness and Health or Disease, ADD, Addiction, Violence on Vimeo

And please don't go down the road of being less of a mother than your ex husband's wife. "YOU" are your son's mother, NO ONE can replace you EVER. He would be horribly devastated if anything happened to you.

((Jane)), you are growing, that's all, growing is "scary". It's like that for everyone. I can see you have courage and you are a nice person, you need to see that too, it's there, it really is.

(((Caring Hugs)))
OE