"I said stuff because he came stomping up the stairs screaming at me. That was the 1st time I talked about his past to him. I used the skill DEAR MAN and that is suppose to help the situation, but sometimes it doesn't work and that is when I need to come up with other ways. I was at fault too for screaming that stuff. Things got out of hand."

In order to avoid escalation of a tense situation, if you hear him coming - maybe a better idea to just keep distance without much participation (safer for you is what I mean, because he sounds very tense).