Well your experience with an addiction counselor is "your" experience, not everyones.(hope I didn't sound insolent- not my intention, many times I express myself and it comes across different than I mean it to be ) I've heard more times, that it can be helpful to have someone that relates and thus better "connects", I agree with that. I've had both a yeast infection and athletes foot -there is NO WAY a man having atheltes foot could understand the feelings a woman has in the "feminine area" with a yeast infection! they are not anywhere near the same feeling-- but if I talked to another woman that had it also, she would be able to "connect" with me, all the things we both more than likely suffered with. Guess we'll have to agree to disagree on this.
Like I said-- sometimes compassion is what's needed and that's enough-- but sometimes the "connection" of commonality is more helpful. It just depends on the person and what they need at that moment... not that one is overall better than another.

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do think, however, that women need to take some responsibility for what they do to perpeptuate the gender stereotypes too, however... e.g., if you think it is reasonable for your husband to expect you to do these things in the sense that you actually do take the responsibility for the housekeeping and the childraising and the income... well...

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Oh yes, I couldn't agree with you more! I have been in MANY an arguement with my SO as I've never agreed with being the "beast of burden".

I think it's VERY tough though to go against what society tries to force others to accept. And like myself-- when one goes against the "norm"-- you face harsh obstacles with hurtful labels. One has to have very strong convictions. (and I do.) I've been told what a witch(and other not nice names) I am for insisting my husband help clean the bathrooms, change diapers(years ago), share in the shopping and his dad has called him some not-very nice labels when he sees him working in the kitchen. It can be tough for both genders to step out of societies expectations. However, society can be quite dsyfunctional about a lot of things-- so the heck with society!

I like fayerody's signature-- Well-behaved women seldom make history -- Laurel Thatcher Ulrich challenging the "norms" is how I've always been. I've never paid attention to the words-- "It's done that way.... because that's just the way it is"... never accepted that!

Hey, Pilatus-- I sure hope you don't mind, I've gone off topic here! I truly apologize if so. (I'm always concerned about the original poster and how they feel their thread is going-- please let me know if it is a problem)

mandy