Hi, hopefully someone will be able to give me some advice...

Sex makes me very uncomfortable. I started self-pleasuring at an early age, didn't know anything about sex...my mom made me feel very guilty about that when I asked her about it as a young child. I still have feelings of guilt about it. My dad is very uncomfortable talking/seeing/etc anything sexually explicit on the tv, so I always felt really awkward about anything I saw especially if he was in the room. I was always uncomfortable during sex talks with friends in college.

Anyway, this level of uncomfortableness is a major problem for me and in intimate relationships. I had a boyfriend ask me if I was molested once, just because of how uncomfortable I can get. I get really anxious about it beforehand, but I can hide it. I always find a reason to put off sex. If someone tries to touch me to initiate, I just want to run away. All my relationships have ended with us not having had sex very often. I have had impulsive hook ups though, and did not feel the same level of uncomfortableness that I felt with boyfriends.

To my knowledge, I was not sexually abused... but I can't really come right out and ask my mom that can i? I don't know what the problem is, if it's just related to intimacy issues (afraid to get too close to people), or if there is something more deeply rooted. But it's keeping me from getting in another relationship, because I'm scared the same thing is going to happen again.

Hope this made sense, appreciate any response.