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Originally Posted by Freewilled
I've identified what might contribute to my extreme discomfort and troubling reactions during therapy sessions....my stammering, difficulty holding thoughts, shutting down, etc. Part of it seems to be a pervasive, engulfing feeling of shame. I don't know how much my T plays into this but I know a big part of it is self-induced. The entire set up of the therapy process figures into potential shame responses with trying to bare ones soul and heart wrenching difficulties to another - one in an authority position.
So I think just being there shuts me down. I don't know how to address that with my T. From what I've been reading online, Ts can also feel the shame.
My mom shamed me my entire upbringing and my relationship right now isn't the best. I'm trying to open up to my T and had a but of success last week, but it's so hard  I don't want to keep him out because he seems to be really attuned, engaged and deep down I believe he cares. Has anyone come right out and named this problem with T before or had a T address it in a way that helped you? |
It sounds to me your problem might be fear too and not just shame itself. Your mom was shaming, so you are fearful other people will be the same. Maybe that's why you feel it a bit too, you are assuming your T will react like your mom or concerned about it. To deal with it I think you should address it head on in therapy. Just say, I've been thinking I might have a hard time talking because I feel ashamed and/or am worried you might be thinking X because that's how people have reacted to me in the past.