I've often wondered the same thing: if I may have been abused as a child and never knew it.

From I was 9 until I was about 16, for all intents and purposes I was held captive by my mom. It's hard to explain, but my siblings all moved out, I wasn't allowed to spend the night over anyone's house or invite anyone over, and my mom changed our phone number and wouldn't give me the new one because I was "making friends. Also, during this time, she kinda brainwashed me for lack of another word. I became inundated with religious ideals and was brought up to believe that sex was wrong, evil. What did this do to me? I forced myself to have sex the first time because I thought I'd be abandoned otherwise and pretty much ever since I'd either dissassociate or break down during sex...some 20+ years later.

I know my story didn't help. I just wanted to let you know that I think I get it....