Quote:
Originally Posted by Leah123
It's very easy for me to see my therapist in that parental role because I was cognizant of wanting that when I began therapy: I am estranged from my mother, so as I struggled with being a good mother myself, I always wanted a motherly figure to confide in, someone I could trust for parenting advice, and moreso, someone I could trust to admit that I wasn't a perfect mother.
The facts that my therapist is about 30 years older, has sort of a matronly presence, has had the experience of therapeutic reparenting herself, and idenfities with some of my issues made it very easy for me to see her in that way, at least in part, not as a replacement mother, but a specifically 'good enough mother' one to give me that reparative sense of reexperiencing my painful early years and being there in a loving, accepting, healing way as I do. It's a very deep thing, one that's given me pause at time, incredibly powerful, and affirming.
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That sounds very lovely.
My T seemed to fill a dual role in my life too-therapist and father figure (he was also about 30 years older-had a daughter the exact same age as me). My father died very young, but even before that, he never talked to me or took me anywhere or gave me any bit of attention (not even 1 single hug or I love you) except for some abusive times (csa and he was sadistic sometimes). I had no grandfathers. It was the first adult male I had an intimate but non-sexual relationship with. The first adult male I ever felt safe with. We often interacted in a playful manner; it was endearing feeling like "Daddy's little girl" at times. We were very fond of each other.
I feel fortunate as well. Thank you for sharing your experience.