Recovering from horrendous fight with partner, almost ending in my moving out -- was already packing, had told parents and everyone at work I was moving back. I was on the way out.
Partner and I had disagreement about a fundamental issue we don't agree about.

Still bad vibes from those couple of days, though he still wants me to stay. Culminated in violence a few days ago when I, in a rage, swept everything off of his desk, smashing his monitor, throwing my phone against the wall which broke it, knocked over the lamp, knocked stuff all over the place. It was bad.

He helped me get my phone replaced. It's been a couple days and things are calmer, but not back to normal. The damage between us was done.

I scheduled an appointment with a therapist to address the anger control issues. I know it's the bipolar, but there's a split second before the point of no return where one can make a choice to just scream and walk away, or destroy anything in one's path.

I can't believe how this can come out of me. Why anyone would stay, I don't know. Who could live with that? This is a good man, and I just hope that I don't let this monster destroy what he and I could create with each other.