I have recently posted about my struggles with my T. She canceled our Dec 24th appt due to an emergency. Then she forgot to call me on Dec 26th. My last session with her, she rejected some papers I wanted to give her and she refused to give me reassurance over an issue.

I love my T. I want to stay with her. I know she never meant to hurt me. I need her. I am lucky to have her and I don't want to lose her.

But I have an overwhelming desire to push her away. I'm still mad at her. I'm still hurt. I can't let it go. I've been trying to work with her on this, but I keep finding another issue to be mad at her about. I'm so mad at myself. I'm going to destroy this relationship. I need to stop. I have to stop. But I don't know how to. I'm driving myself insane. I love her and I hate her. Oh how I wish I could erase X-mas week!!! This is consuming me