Congrats, Becca, on making the decision to seek therapy and fight your depression.

Are you a minor or an adult? The degree to which you have to involve mom and dad may vary depending on the answer.

Speaking as a mom, I would not like to hear a speech from my daughter begin with "I need you not to attack me, I need you not to question me." This would put me on the defensive. Why not start by saying something more benign, to try to get mom on your team rather than casting her as an opponent? If she responds poorly, then you can crank it up a notch.

I think starting with your regular doctor is a good place to seek referrals for therapists. Your doctor may know therapists particularly good at dealing with depression, chronic illness, etc. Plus, if your regular doctor is one that your parents trust, if he/she recommends therapy for you, then this will make mom and dad more apt to be on your side (just be sure to stick to your guns with regular doc and not get anti-depressants if you don't want them--many docs these days dispense them at the drop of a hat).

How about getting referrals from your doctor, then approaching mom and dad together with a little speech like this?

"Mom and Dad, I went to see my doctor and he recommended I see a therapist to help me with my depression. He recommended a really good therapist, and I have an appointment to see him/her later this week. Can you drive me? If that time doesn't work for you, what time does, so I can change the appointment? I checked with our insurance, and they will cover my first 20 (or whatever) visits to this therapist."

There is no need to tell mom that one of the reasons you are seeking therapy is because of her, as again, this will put her on the defensive. Just say it is for "depression." The details of your therapy are just for you and your therapist. Try to get a therapist that your health insurance will reimburse for, as this will be more apt to make mom and dad cooperate. Your regular doctor will probably only refer you to other providers in your insurance network anyway, but doublecheck to make sure.

Good luck.

sunny