My wife and I both struggle with rage. Of course there are triggers in our relationship, but I attribute mine mainly to bipolar, ADHD, past trauma, etc... She basically attributes here just to being with me, and while I have given her LOTS to be upset about due to the bipolar, especially during the time when I was undiagnosed, I think that is a bit short sighted of her. Nevertheless, I have a very difficult time controlling my tone at all times. I am irritable in the best of times. When I feel exasperated by something she is saying about me or something, I can fly off the handle. At it's worst I fly into what I refer to as black manias where I become self destructive and destructive to things around me though not to her. I have been working with diet and I have eliminated caffeine and alcohol which has taken the top and bottom end off of my symptoms actually. So that is something you might try. Do you drink? smoke? drink a lot of caffeine? Those things for me were huge. When I eliminated them, I felt like a totally different person.

Anyhow, I feel you, and I share that sentiment, 'why would anyone stay with me'? But so far my wife is still here, and for the time being, I am not giving up...
Hope you guys strength too...
Warm wishes!
MT