I'm new (again) to this site and I know we haven't chatted before but I wanted to give you some perspective as a soon to be mother and someone who is and has been depressed. It must be very difficult for you to see your bff so happy and involved with a new little life. Especially if it's her first child, I can understand why she may be a little less focused on you right now. That said, if she's really your bff, she'll be there for you unconditionally if you need her and won't hold it against you or make you feel bad for stealing her thunder. She'll also understand how badly you may want these same things for yourself (marriage and kids) and see it not as jealousy, but something to help support you with and through.

I am almost 7 months pregnant and very depressed but I also spent the last few months supporting another friend who was also pregnant and more depressed than me. She had her baby last week and is doing better. Despite how I was feeling (depressed, anxious, excited for my own baby) my priority was helping her through her depression and anxiety and trying to keep her grounded and be someone she could talk to. It's NOT easy to listen to someone who is depressed. Depressed people are hard to be around. Sometimes we suck. It's because we're depressed and it's not our fault. True friends understand that.

In terms of your own life, I think your therapist is right and mine gave me similar advice when I was really down. If you think your life is useless and you'll always be down, it will influence how you feel about everything. It's really, really, really hard to change these perceptions. I know, I've been there. My pdoc called it being a freak - i.e. hiding out, removing myself from society, becoming a recluse and believing that this was a good way to live. I didn't change that right away, it took many years and a lot of time. Our therapists say these kinds of things to influence us to see a different perspective.

I also agree that sometimes it does feel like we keep getting the short straw. In my case, I spent three years fighting for my recovery so that I could become a mom, only to find myself falling back into blackness during (because of?) my pregnancy. Things that seem so easy for everyone else can be very hard for us when we have a chemical imbalance. It sucks but part of recovery is learning how to approach this differently.

I hope this helps a bit...I'm sure your bff still loves you very much.