can you give me some feedback about this letter to my T.should i give it to her or just let my last session be about the good she did and keep this to myself

Dear T
Our last meeting was horrible. I so scared and hurt. I’m feeling like I was and have to be the vilest human on this earth. I know what I said to you the week before was completely disgusting, but to completely forget that you even met with me never mind what I said completely threw me. I can understand not wanting to deal with something so nasty. One thing I know and should have remembered is, even if I might feel that something I my life might be completely devastating to me, to others can be quite unimportant and forgettable .if it was so important to me and such a part of me I should have never risked speaking of it . Unfortunately the mother wanting me to go to that funeral and all the disgustingness and memories around it wouldn’t go away. After 4 years I thought It would be ok to speak a little about it .i was so wrong. If I was not prepared for your reaction or mine I should never had done that. Actions have consequences and I’m so sorry.
I didn’t understand much about what you were talking about with this cloud thing .i know that was my fault but please believe I was trying to pay attention but so much was running around in my head and to be honest I was just really scared . the panic really set in with you telling me that you were not going to bring it up the next week that I had to if I wanted to. You told me this as I was walking out the door. No time to even ask why you were doing this. I always thought this was something clients did. By the time I got home I was in such a huge panic and spiral that I called you. I guess I needed to know you were going to still be there even if I was so shut down. In the past I thought it was ok to call you .you would call back and it sometimes helped. I understand how easy it is to take advantage of that and I am sorry for that also, I really did try not to. When you didn’t call me back I realized I destroyed that privilege also I’m sorry.
I guess you feel it best not to help me open up and talk anymore .i don’t understand why but I guess it is a new boundary and I need to respect it .I know you expect me to be able to do this but I know I can’t .i really need help with it. I don’t understand all these new boundaries and I am so sorry for whatever I did to cause you to need them. But without any more help with being able to talk I know it isn’t going to work anymore. I can’t do what you want